Are you comfortable with your flaws? Are you fine with all physical or mental problems that you may possess? These are personal questions, huh? For me, I have many physical problems, ranging from a lazy right eye to muscular dystrophy in the left leg. I sometimes suffer from depression too, but hey, what person in the world is perfectly normal!? I have heard the common stereotypes for the cerebral palsy: "They cannot live in a "normal" environment." "They have difficulty communicating because we are retarded." Or, "You guys can never have a normal job". To put it according to David Ring, a preacher who has CP, "I have cerebral palsy, what is your problem?" We are minority, but we are people, nevertheless. The same people that are trying to fulfill one's goals and ambitions, just like the average individual. But, we chase them in a different way. I feel that persons with "disabilities" tend to have a more fierce drive to succeed in life. They are more determined, motivated and I try to find the positive in any situation. I have learned to accept my "disability", even though I do not consider a disability. I do not "suffer" from it, nor I do not want anyone to feel sorry for me. CP illustrates as another piece of my puzzle. It is an extra piece that fits.
"If you don't give it your all, you will fall." I came up with this quote in seventh grade and I stand by it each and every day. My life thus far has been a ever-going roller coaster ride. I have experienced very surreal moments and tragic heartbreaks. If I am in a rut, I utilized my accomplishments to give me the extra shot of adrenaline. Therefore, having cerebral palsy does help me refocus of what I want to accomplish. However, my CP has also allowed me to break my conservative shell.
My high school years were a smorgasboard of emotions. I was confused, frustrated, tenative, but perky, goofy, and funny. I did not find my true self. I did very well academically, graduated with a 3.2 GPA, and socially I was the unofficial team mascot. I provided the comic relief. I performed some outrageous things, especially school spirit week. Oh, my gosh! I loved this week, and I almost partcipated in every event. Senior year was extremely memorable. I was one of the kings of the school and I went completely bonkers. I think what I have done help soldified myself as a recipient for best school spirit for a male.
Homecoming occurred as part of the spirit week festivities, a capstone for the week. I wanted to do something drastic, but within reason. An assistant coach recommended a couple weeks prior I should paint my face the school colors of cherry red and royal blue. He even volunteered to buy the face paint. The idea was brillant and I obiliged to do it. So, on Friday during Spirit Week of 2004, I walked into Mount Pleasant High School caked with red and blue face paint. wearing a Vikings jersey and denim jeans. Almost every teacher I ran into that day was almost in awestruck and somewhat speechless. Some of the student body, on the other hand, shook their heads in disgust. Others relished the moment. To my knowledge, I am the only student to ever wear face paint on a school day. I also had another memorable experience during the football season. I cannot recall where I receive the idea from, but I conducted mini rally speeches during the game days at lunch. The high school served four lunch periods during the day (A,B,C,D). Lunch D was the time slot I ate. I do not recall how it started, but I reved up the crowd with a V-I-K-I-N-G-S chant. I ended it with "Let me hear some noise!", while the students slapped the hands repeatedly on the cafeteria tables. Finally, I have found my niche. Sure, some students were laughing at me, not with me. I did not give a crap because those actions freed me up spiritually. I felt alive and I let myself go from my shell.
Like any condition or disease, they do have an ugly side. Since I have a "disability", I tend to get frustrated very easily. I do put extreme accessive pressure on myself because I strive for success. I want to take the necessary actions in order to achieve that success. I am currently going through a transition period from recent college grad to potential employee in the real world. I must tell you up front. The real world does make any promise for anyone! Every job opportunity out there is every person for themselves. If you are not fully preapred, this chaos might send you into hysteria. You might doubt yourself about your own abilities, your school of choice, the major you hold a degree in, or unexplained events. Believe me. The real world is no picnic. When I graduated college in May, I entered in uncharted teritory. I graduated. Great. Now what? I did not generate a gameplan for myself. I was so consumed and preoccupied with finishing my senior year strong that I forgot to lay out a plan. I did not utilize part of this time to figure out my potential job opportunities. I also did not obtain a driver's license, to make matters a bit arduous. Obtaining a driver's license was the main focal point during the summer. However, I did not anticipate it would take a good majority of the summer to obtain it. I utilize May to recouperate from the lack of sleep I received while cramming. June and a good portion of July were waiting periods. I waited for four to five weeks to to have an appointment with the doctor for a physical. In July, I took and passed the permit test for a third time, but my career counselor strongly recommended to take driving lessons through an accredited driving school. Middle of July, I was evaluated through Brant's Driving School, a driving school that caters with individuals with physical disabilities. Brian, the instructor, recommended me operating the vehicle with an adaptation, a left-foot accelerator pedal. Three weeks passed and I started my driving lessons with another instructor, Dan, in August. No lie. On September 11, 2008, in Somerset County, I finally received my license. But, I have not driven since. My mother drives a 2007 Chevrolet HHR. One minor flaw though. It has a manual transmission. More obstacles are in the way. In a couple of months, I have achieved my goal, but I am behind the 8-ball in the job market.
I sometimes ask the question, "If I did not have a disability, would my life be any different?" Logically, yes, but I cannot fathom I would be the same person. I might have treated people with arrogance, disrespect, and negativity. This is a detour on my road to success, but this is a very fortunate detour. Sometimes, I would become so irate with my CP that I often thought about suicide. I felt I was unworthy for the ever-changing world. However, the detour was a character building exercise. I could blame about the recent USA economic troubles, or the "bleak" entry-level positions in my field. Instead, I appreciated the summer drama. Every one goes through some type of drama, good or bad. My drama tested my patience greatly. My attitude fluctuated severely, but I learned. I learned to take in your drama and absorb the potential. The potential of finding 'Why the drama happened?' and 'Why it had to be associated with me?" The uniqueness of one's life is defined by their adversity. How they overcame it truly makes them more unique from the rest. I am awaiting a job opportunity with a packaging company near Mount Pleasant. I am excited and anxious about it, but I am quickly catching up to the 8-ball.
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